Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won't be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
Albert Brooks

Even if you didn't see the movie, you'd see two words you'd never seen put together before - comedy and Muslim. Comedy is friendly - it's the least offensive word in our language.
Albert Brooks

I come from the place where I am thinking 'I have put my blood on the pages.'
Albert Brooks

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
Albert Brooks

I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.
Albert Brooks

I'm not interesting enough on my own that you'd want to see a film about me.
Albert Brooks

If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.
Albert Brooks

It's better to be known by six people for something you're proud of than by 60 million for something you're not.
Albert Brooks

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
Albert Brooks