A schedule so tight that it would only work if I didn't sleep on Monday nights.
Alan Jay Lerner

An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him.
Alan Jay Lerner

Back home everyone said I didn't have any talent. They might be saying the same thing here but it sounds better in French.
Alan Jay Lerner

Coughing in the theater is not a respiratory ailment. It is a criticism.
Alan Jay Lerner

It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
Alan Jay Lerner

Men die but an idea does not.
Alan Jay Lerner

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Alan Jay Lerner

With a little bit of luck, you'll never work!
Alan Jay Lerner

You write a hit the same way you write a flop.
Alan Jay Lerner