Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
Al Capp

Any place that anyone can learn something useful from someone with experience is an educational institution.
Al Capp

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
Al Capp

Like all New York hotel lady cashiers she had red hair and had been disappointed in her first husband.
Al Capp

My work is being destroyed almost as soon as it is printed. One day it is being read; the next day someone's wrapping fish in it.
Al Capp

Success is following the pattern of life one enjoys most.
Al Capp

The public is like a piano. You just have to know what keys to poke.
Al Capp

The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else. was to be indifferent to that difference.
Al Capp

There are certain books in the world which every searcher for truth must know: the Bible, the Critique of Pure Reason, the Origin of Species, and Karl Marx's Capital.
Al Capp

Today's younger generation is no worse than my own. We were just as ignorant and repulsive as they are, but nobody listened to us.
Al Capp


Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed of necessary.
Al Capp